Problem #83 with having an old car.......
The seat belt stretches out and doesn't snap back the way its supposed to.
This occurrence has become more frequent over the past year and a half. Maybe 11 years is the manufacturer's snap-backness limit on seat belts.
Is snappidity a word?
The snappidity has gone out of my seat belt.
Now, normally this wouldn't be a big deal, because it still eventually snaps back, you just have to give it a few tugs and Wah-Lah...it's a correctly fastened seatbelt once more.
The problem happens when I quickly hop out of my car for a 5 minute trip into the grocery store to buy one thing. See, I have this mental issue that when I know I'm only getting one or two things from the store, I play this mind game called "Beat The Clock!" I see how fast I can get in and out of the store. I give myself extra points if my feet never pause, but keep the pace throughout the entire trip, except for stopping at the self-check out kiosk.
I figure that this talent will come in handy at some point in my life.....not really sure when, but obviously this is a serious spiritual gift, so I'm open to the fact that me and my Fast Shopping Gift will be used mightily someday.
I digress....
When I return to my car, still in super-shopper mode, I unlock my door and quickly slam myself down on the seat. Well, the darn seatbelt forgot to retract and who knows how this happens, but the buckle seems to be in the perfect position of UP.
It's usually my left hip or....ahem...back-lower-back-portion-of-my-body-area that comes down on that stupid buckle.
It is a pain unlike any other. I liken it to being shot. Or stabbed. It's the kind of pain that reverberates through your whole body and you just have to punch someone or something and curse at the same time, simultaneously throwing your recently-purchased products down on the opposite floorboard while you thrash around for a bit because you're in so MUCH FREAKING PAIN.
Now, I'm not a cusser. So I actually just grit my teeth together and mutter something like "ohmymichaeljfoxareyoufreakingkiddingmeithappenedagain."
I'm sure a bruise pops up within minutes. I never look because it would just make me mad at my seat belt all over again.
Maybe I should slow down and snap by seat belt back before I begin "Beat The Clock."
But I'd rather chalk it up to reason #83 of why I need a new car!
