Chips, Old Men, and a Really Old Car

I have a super busy day today, but I had to take time out and write while the creative monologue was running through my head. The tale begins with some bragging. Have I mentioned how much I love Reasor's? I have never, not once, gone into that store without being asked if I need any help. From the produce guy, who is ALWAYS working in the produce department, to the store director. They are the most helpful place on the planet. Then they went and partnered up with QuikTrip....which is my other favorite place (my brother says there will be a QT in Heaven)....and if I spend $50, I get 5 cents off each gallon of gas I purchase...anyway...it's a swell place. Today was no different. I saw a worker taking two, rather large cardboard shelves into the back of the store. I stopped the very helpful store director and asked "are those Frito Lay shelves being thrown away?" At his response of "yes, I think so," I asked him if I could please have one, as I was a teacher and the cardboard unit would make an awesome addition to my classroom. He promptly went and retrieved a shelving unit for me and graciously took it to the front of the store for me, as well. My mind was filled with ideas of how I would paint all the cardboard black, add a few artistic-cricket-cut-out appliques, spray lacquer it and make it my new art shelf! My mind conveniently forgot the part between taking it out to the car and getting it home. But I'm one of those women who, when she has an idea, it usually works out. I know people who are exactly the opposite and I haven't figured this out yet. I mean, I've had some CRAZY ideas.....but they almost always come to fruition. So I knew the shelf was going to be a success, however I began to have some doubts as I headed to my car with one hand pushing the cart and the other wrapped around the mess of cardboard. I was parked very near the front, and set my grocery cart next to the rear bumper, looked at the contraption I had just scored from my favorite supermarket, and began to navigate my way through breaking it down. Let me back up....I had already lifted it up as if I was going to put it in the backseat and that was immediately shot down by the sheer size of the shelving unit. So my next thought was I was probably going to have to break it down. Now here is where the real story happens. I nonchalantly glance up and out in front of the drive-up loading dock, I see two old-timers gabbing. They were looking in my direction, obviously seeing this large, probably four and a half foot tall cardboard, Frito Lay shelf that had once held chips and was now going to hold school supplies, in their parking lot while leaning their forearms on empty carts, making themselves comfortable while hunkering down to watch the show. It was as if two, weathered old men had paused their checkers game out in front of the country store, so they could watch a fool woman mess around with the contraption that was too big for her wagon. As I opened my trunk and simultaneously became very self-conscious, I began to chide myself and think "they're not really looking at you. They're probably just gazing out at the parking lot." It was a large job, to talk myself down from that emotional ledge that I was about to jump off of in a hysterical state, but I did talk myself down and was determined to shrug off the thought that they might be watching me. However, their voices which carried on the slight breeze gave me pause, "I will never understand women. I just can't figure what goes through their minds..." So now I was ticked. And at that moment, after slamming the trunk shut with a decisive thud, I KNEW I was going to get this shelf in my car. As I began to break it down, I noticed there were industrial sized staples holding the sides together. I was really concerned because I did not want to wreck this shelf. So realizing my groceries were sitting in the hot sun, I paused and loaded the car with my groceries. I also noticed the sun had grown 35 times hotter than it had been 8 minutes ago. It could be it was just my blood pressure. Seeing no other way to do it, I began to gently pull apart the sides and break the shelf down even further. As I was accordion folding the now defunct shelves, a woman came out to her car, which was parked next to me. She said "that looks complicated." I realized this was my chance. I said (probably a little too loudly), "I'm a teacher and this cardboard mess is going to make an AWESOME shelving unit for my classroom." The woman gave a slight nod of her head as if to say "to each his own, but I really hope you don't talk that loud in your classroom." I finished folding the shelf and pranced around to the back passenger door, and yes, I really did prance. Their was a bounce to my step for good reason. I had succeeded! I stuffed the shelf into my backseat, none the worse for wear and looked up expecting to see the old men nod their heads in submissive amazement at my feat of great wonder! They were gone. Maybe they left when they heard me yell at the woman parked next to me. Or maybe they realized once those staples came out, I could actually fold the thing to a manageable size. Either way, I was sad they missed my grand finale. Ol' Betsy has sure put up with alot from me over the years. But she has remained ever faithful. I may not be able to count on the kind words of strangers, but I can count on my really old car. And my sheer genius. Here's the before pic. I'll post an after pic when I'm finished with it.