Why I Choose Dogs Instead of Dating

"Previously published on Julie Johnson's Facebook site."

Inspiration has struck! I now have an amazing answer to shut people up when they ask me about my dating life.
Random person - "So what's going on with the dating situation?"
Julie - "Oh, I've chosen a dog instead of a date."
Sure, I may receive quizzical looks, and it might spur people on to walk away from me a little bit faster. But honestly, what can I receive from dating that I can't receive from a dog?
#1 - Dating is awkward. You have those first date jitters and wonder whether or not Mr. Lame is going to open the car door for you, or just leave you standing in the driveway, looking like an idiot when he's already in the car and you are still standing there. A dog, if properly trained via the Dog Whisperer Method by Cesar Milan, will ALWAYS allow you to enter any doorway first, and will follow closely behind.
#2 - We wait by the phone to see if he will call. What am I saying? We no longer wait by the phone, we sit while holding the phone, since phones are now small enough to fit in the palm of our hands. We also have the "delicately-sit-the-phone-down-by-your-plate-in-case-you-miss-a-text" move. We aren't really fooling anyone.
A dog, if properly trained via the Dog Whisperer Method by Cesar Milan, will ALWAYS come when they are called. They don't pace themselves to wait three days before they contact you. And they usually are a huge fan of running to the door to greet you when you return home.
#3 - A date consists of dressing up, going out to eat, stressing over what to order, then stressing whether or not Mr. Tightwad is going to pick up the check or not....
A dog, if properly trained via the Dog Whisperer Method by Cesar Milan, will wait at your feet until you feed him. He also doesn't care if you are wearing the latest ensemble by Dolce & Gabana, or the track-suit special from Target. There is no "check" to pick up, only the empty bowl. And you usually get a few slobbery kisses because you were kind enough to sit a bowl full of dried and very un-appetizing brown bits down in front of him or her.
Many of you may be under the impression that this blog was born out of a bad dating experience. Quite the contrary. There has been no date experience to reflect upon. And you know what? That is soooo okay with me.
I've come to the place in my life that all I really want besides what I have, is a dog!
Sure, I have to wait until I'm done with college to get a dog, but I'd have to wait until I'm done with college to date, as well. At this point, I have time for neither men nor dogs. And I'm good with that.
Selfish of me? Maybe.
Wise? Definitely.
My family and friends are such amazing people, they give me what I need emotionally. I lack nothing. And I realize I should take more time to think on that than I do. I'm a blessed girl. Even without the dates. Or the dogs.

***Update***
I wrote this blog almost a year and a half ago.....I'm still very happy with my current situation and lack of dating life...mostly. :0) I have since realized that dogs take up a large portion of your time. But they're worth it. Their chocolate brown eyes can get them out of the spanking they so justly deserve for missing the pee-pad by 3 feet.....and the fact that they sleep best when sleeping under the covers with you, well....it makes a person feel loved and needed.
More importantly, I've realized that a dog can take care of the two most reoccurring thoughts a thirty-something woman might have....
Babies and boyfriends.
It's a blessing.