Tuesday, March 29, 2011

HiJinks from the Johnson Household

It seems like not a day goes by that I'm amazed at the words that come out of my nieces' mouths. Sometimes it's something sincerely poignant, sometimes its something hysterically funny. I should have begun cataloging these from the beginning of my reign in the cupboard-under-the-stairs (really, its a nook above the stairs). So I've provided for your reading pleasure some of the best of Kaylee, Alexis and Emma.

It's a known fact that when four girls (1 of them a grown-up) share a bathroom, at some point there is going to be an invasion of privacy. I've learned to just live with this. So getting out of the shower this morning, I ran into what I call an Emma Explanation. These words are not only a very logical explanation coming from a 3-year-old, but they are also accompanied by a continuous nod of the head and a one-sided, curled up lip. It's about the most adorable thing in the world, which only adds to the hilarity of the Emma Explanations.

Place: Upstairs bathroom
Time: 8:15am, this morning.
Julie, standing in a towel, in the tub, having just pulled back the shower curtain finds Emma hopping from one foot to the other. "Tauntie, I really have to pee."
Tauntie: "Okay, well, go ahead, I'll wait here."
It was an ill-fitting towel. I didn't really want to move around that much.
Emma does her business, not bothered by the lack of privacy and grabs a miniscule amount of toilet paper, and I give her a look like "um, is that gonna work?"
Here is the explanation, complete with facial expressions: "I'm just gonna use a little bit so I don't waste toilet paper."
Tauntie "oooh. okay."

Place: Kitchen table during dinner
Time: 6:00pm on a weeknight
Having just discussed how much the twins love ballet, they question was asked by their mother "If you didn't do ballet, what else would you like to learn how to do?"
Kaylee: "I'd like to learn how to play the drums!" She immediately begins to drum on the table with her silverware.
A thoughtful moment passes as Alexis looks around the table, then she spits out this gem.
Alexis: "I'd like to learn how to play the sitar."
And the child explains what a sitar is, to those around the table who are unfamiliar with the instrument. It only took us 10 minutes to regain our composure.

Place: My very old, cluttered and dirty car
Time: 3:45pm, after the final bell rings.
I've been interning at the twins' school, so on Wednesdays and Fridays I get to drive them home, since I'm already at the school. So as we were walking out to my car, this is what happened:
Alexis: "Where's your car, Tauntie?"
Tauntie: "Right there."
Kaylee: "I'm sitting in front!"
Tauntie: "Kaylee, you get in the front, Alexis get in on this side, let me push all this junk out of the way."
Alexis: "Oh man, Tauntie, your car is really dirty."
Tauntie: "Ya, I need to clean it out." I start the car up....
Kaylee: "Oh, Tauntie! What is that noise??"
Tauntie: "It's my car, Kaylee. She's really old." We begin to drive down the street.
Kaylee: "Hey, my window won't work! It won't roll down!"
Tauntie: "Ya, sorry, it doesn't work." Well, this must have been too much for the little thing.
Kaylee: "AUGHHHH, Tauntie! Your car is old, dirty, loud, and broken! You need to buy a new car right now!!!"

I couldn't have said it better myself!

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