Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Yo, Old Guy.....My Eyes Are Up Here!

What follows is an account of one of the strangest incidents I've ever experienced in my life. Now, we all can agree I'm not a Cindy Crawford look-a-like, nor do I flaunt what my momma gave me....so I'm not at all accustomed to having the opposite sex ogle me. What just transpired was strange, unnerving and most of all, laugh out loud funny.
I was heading into work, walking down the hallway of the Business and Technology Building at the Broken Arrow Campus. I had just taken my shades off and popped them on top of my head, and was minding my own business as I was loaded down with my laptop, my purse and a bottle of water. An older gentleman (I use the term "gentleman" VERY loosely) was at the opposite end of the hallway, walking my way. He started speaking. Loudly. Come to find out, he was speaking to me!

Old Guy: Hey! I see you made it!

Julie: (slows her walking and looks at the older man to see who he was talking to)

Old Guy: I know you really didn't want to come in today. But I'm so glad you made it!

Now at this point, I'm thinking two things. Either a) he is a professor and has mistaken me for one of his students, or b) he has a bluetooth ear bud in and he's talking on the phone. So as we are walking towards each other, I start looking for a cellular device, or ear buds....ANYTHING that will give me a hint to who this guy is talking to!
He continues to talk as if he knows me. I'm thoroughly confused by this time. He's gotten close enough to me that I can see his glasses have slipped low on his nose and his beady eyes are not looking at me. It almost seems like they're looking at the floor. All this time I still keep walking. Now I'm wondering if I should pick up the pace and stride past him because obviously this is awkward. I have no idea who he is and he's going to be embarrassed to realize I'm not the person he thinks I am.
Finally, we've come face to face and he stops me. He literally stepped in front of me. And I was right. He wasn't....a-hem....looking at my face.
Three words were running through my mind right then.....Dirty. Old. Man!
Then he busts out with this:

Old Guy: I'm just flirting with you! I know you don't want to be here today!

And he starts laughing! So he just told me he's flirting with me and he's still not looking at my face. Well, I take that back.....he's given my face a few quick-as-lightning glances, but let's just say his main focus was not on my pretty sometimes-blue-sometimes-green eyes. Let me pause to mention he was about 70ish.
"Look dude, I may be open to the prospect of finally meeting a man, but I'd like to find someone whose main physician doesn't specialize in geriatrics!"
Naturally I didn't say this, but I thought it!!
He finally let me pass and I HURRIED down the hall into the elevator. I could still hear him talking to himself.
Come to find out, he's not a professor, but he is on staff here.
I have no idea who he is and I just really don't want to know.
At least I was wearing layers today. I hope he walked away frustrated at the young 24-ish woman who was wearing the jean jacket (that would be me). Serves him right.
Thanks old guy, I feel like I need to take a shower.

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